How To Win Friends And Influence People

Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are a business man. Yes, and that is also true if you are an accountant, housewife, architect, or engineer

about 15 per cent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 per cent is due to skill in human engineering

that the highest-paid men in the engineering field are frequently not the men who know most about engineering

the man who has technical knowledge plus the ability to express his ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among men—that man is headed for higher earning power.

the great aim of education, said Herbert Spencer, is not knowledge but action

If Al Capone, “Two Gun” Crowley, Dutch Schultz, the desperate men behind prison walls don’t blame themselves for anything—what about the people with whom you and I come in contact?

ninety-nine times out of a hundred, no man ever criticizes himself for anything, no matter how wrong he may be

Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive, and usually makes him strive to justify himself

Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a man’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment

the wrongdoer blaming everybody but himself

Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself, and condemn us in return

I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have

Judge not, that ye be not judged

Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances

But why not begin on yourself?

When a man’s fight begins within himself,” said Browning, “he is worth something

But perfect yourself first

Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof,” said Confucius,” when your own doorstep is unclean

criticism is a dangerous spark—a spark that is liable to cause an explosion in the powder magazine of pride

I will speak ill of no man,” he said, “… and speak all the good I know of everybody

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving

A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men

Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them

God Himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days

There is only one way under high Heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it

The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want

the deepest urge in human nature is “the desire to be important.” Remember that phrase: “the desire to be important

“Everybody likes a compliment.” Yes, we all crave honest appreciation. We all long for sincere praise. And we seldom get either

The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals

And this same desire made the richest man in your town build a house far too large for his requirements

This desire makes you want to wear the latest styles, drive the latest car, and talk about your brilliant children

If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. That determines your character. That is the most significant thing about you. For example, John D. Rockefeller gets his feeling of importance by giving money

History sparkles with amusing examples of famous people struggling for a feeling of importance

People sometimes become invalids in order to win sympathy and attention, and get a feeling of importance

Some authorities declare that people may actually go insane in order to find, in the dreamland of insanity, the feeling of importance that has been denied them in the harsh world of reality

the other half of the people who go insane apparently have nothing organically wrong with their brain cells

people who go insane find in insanity a feeling of importance that they were unable to achieve in the world of reality

Some enjoy being insane. Why shouldn’t they? They have solved their problems

If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracles you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity

Schwab says that he was paid this salary largely because of his ability to deal with people

words that will all but transform your life and mine if we will only live them: I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among the men,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement

“There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a man as criticisms from his superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a man incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loathe to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise”

But what does the average man do? The exact opposite. If he doesn’t like a thing, he raises the Old Harry; if he does like it, he says nothing

I have yet to find the man, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism

Sincere appreciation was one of the secrets of Rockefeller’s success in handling men

people who would think they had committed a crime if they let their families or employees go for six days without food; but they will let them go for six days, and six weeks, and sometimes sixty years without giving them the hearty appreciation that they crave almost as much as they crave food

There is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem

but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years like the music of the morning stars